Nobody thinks their marriage will end when they waltz down that aisle. But the sobering truth is that half of all marriages dissolve. And whether you’re the heartbreaker or the broken-hearted, chances are you’ll be in need of legal counsel at some point. Fortunately, there are many good divorce lawyers in Westminster to help make a lousy situation slightly more tolerable. But there’s a lot you can do on your own, too, for a smoother transition.

Remember to Communicate—Even When You’d Rather Not

When a marriage ends, it’s completely normal for there to be anger, sadness, and resentment on both sides. After all, you’ve spent years with this person, and in some instances, decades. They’ve seen you at your best, and they’ve most definitely seen you at your worst. But as tempting as it is to think of your split as a battle and your ex as the enemy, it’s far healthier to try to remember that you once loved this person, and on a certain level, you probably always will. Keeping the lines of communication open can go a long way in making the process as quick and painless as possible.

Some people even manage to end their marriage through mediation rather than drag their relationship—and often their kids—through the courts. However, it’s far more common to bring an attorney on board, especially when it comes to alimony, child support, and where the kids are going to live. If you’ve seen enough Hollywood break-up movies, you might mistake all divorce attorneys for money-grubbing opportunists. Still, any good divorce lawyer in Erie knows that an amicable split is far better than an acrimonious one. 

Consider The Kids

The end of a marriage has a ripple effect that can extend to relatives, friends— and of course, children. A parent can help ease a child’s transition once a split is underway. The most important thing is not to demonize your ex or speak poorly of them in front of your kids. And it’s vital that you never ever force them to choose sides. You and your partner may no longer be compatible, but your child still loves both of you equally. Studies show that a volatile split can have a detrimental effect on a child’s psyche, so make every effort to keep things civil. Your lawyer in Broomfield will tell you the same thing. As much as the end of your marriage can make you feel like an angry toddler, remember that you’re still the adult here. 

If You Go To Court

In certain situations, former spouses can’t work out a custodial agreement or would like assistance in doing so and find soliciting the help of a child custody lawyer in Erie very helpful. Most attorneys want what’s best for the children, and their often vast experience can be a wealth of information. 

The one thing that inspires good behavior in couples who are ending their relationship is that behavior can be a factor in how the Court determines parenting time and decision making. By treating your ex with respect, you show your willingness to work with them and also your fitness as a parent and role model. In certain situations, a parent can lose access to a child because they are unable to encourage and support the children’s relationship with the other parent. 

And more than that, you and your ex will be connected for life through your child. This can be incredibly stressful—and even toxic—for all involved, or it can be the start of a new chapter and a new kind of “family.” When Gwyneth Paltrow coined the term “conscious uncoupling,” everybody laughed,  but it turns out she was onto something. More and more couples are choosing to set aside their differences and remain friends for the sake of their children. Some even spend holidays together and go on family trips, with new partners in tow.  A good Family Lawyer can help spouses navigate this complicated journey in a holistic, mindful, and healthy manner. 

Respect The Court’s Ruling 

Once the court has passed a ruling regarding Parenting Time and Decision-Making, it’s imperative both Parents follow these Orders. That means abiding by every rule the court asks you to follow. Some parents find this near impossible, which is why resolving your Divorce by Agreement with the other party with the help of counsel is preferable to forcing the Court to do so for you.  

When It Comes To Finances, Don’t Sign Until You’re Sure 

Splitting up can make previously reasonable people unreasonable. And this often plays out over finances. A stay-at-home parent can suddenly find herself justifying every single expenditure and defending her reasons for staying out of the workforce, even though the decision was made jointly when the kids were young. If you’ve always depended on your spouse for financial support, the realities of life apart can be harsh. Moreover, some people assume their ex-spouse will uphold oral or non-court ordered agreements to pay spousal support or cover joint debt.  Without a binding Separation Agreement adopted by the Court enforcement of agreements is very difficult and sometimes impossible.  

Divorce is change, and change is scary. The more clear-eyed and calm you can be, the greater your chance of surviving it intact having good counsel in this process can decrease conflict, stress, and result in a much less traumatic process for the entire family