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Helping Your Child Through Divorce

by Tanis McGonegal Family Law
Aug 29, 2019

If you or someone you know is going through a marital breakup and there are children involved, it can be very detrimental for kids, especially young ones. No matter what the circumstances are, a child’s needs and comfort are always the property and for many reasons. Not only is the breakup not their fault, but the scenario can also negatively impact them for many years. However, as an adult, educating yourself on how to work with children during these times will make the transition easier for them and on the family as a whole.

Unfortunately, it’s a sad reality that thousands of kids across the country experience the stress of divorce every year. The way they react is dependant on their age and the family dynamic. Emotions that are triggered for a child upon learning about their parents split, usually entail fear, shock, sadness, anger, and worry. It is important to know that when a marriage ends, children will feel the effects for a short time and then learn to move on. However, what makes their sadness prolong is the anxiety and stress that they feel during the breakup, especially if they feel torn between two parents. Knowing how they are affected is the first step. The second step is to know how to deal with the situation. Here are a few pointers to help adults understand and work with children during a marital breakup.

Breaking The News About Divorce

Before contacting a Westminster divorce lawyer, the initial talk you want to have is with your child before looking into the legal actions. For parents, those who want more advice and coaching during this part, asking your Erie based divorce lawyer for their expertise can help you. They are professionals who have worked with several families and have experience in this realm.

Letting a child know about a marital breakup is always best coming from both parents, rather than just one, especially if the family dynamic is very close. Sitting them down to have an open and honest conversation is the key but also not exposing any sensitive details that they may not understand for those who are very young. For adolescent children, having them understand the concept of relationships growing apart will make the situation more bearable for them. If there is not a mutual custody agreement, parents may need to seek out a child custody lawyer based in Erie. However, it is best not to mention this to a child when they have just heard the initial news. Easing them into the situation is the best course of action.

How They Respond To Divorce

As an adult, knowing how to react to a child’s response is very important. This is the moment that can sway the mood of the conversation. If a child becomes angry, or even violent, staying calm is the best practice. However, that is rare and young kids are usually interested in concrete things, such as where they will live, who will take them to school, etc. If you have already been in contact with a Broomfield lawyer, discussing these roles for the child and which parent will oversee them will avoid conflict between parents. Typically, school-age children are the ones to express more worry and hope their parents will get back together, compared to children under the age of 4. Knowing what to expect is vital to know how to react to their response.

A Westminster lawyer can give parents tips and techniques to help their child in the transition phase. Speak to your Erie based divorce lawyer about how you can put your child first and make sure their feelings and needs are protected.

Coping With Divorce

A child custody lawyer in Erie can assist parents in how to help children cope with the unfortunate news of a marital breakup. They will most likely advise that children are kept out of the fight, especially if there is a custody battle. To better help them cope, leaving out any negative talk about the other parent is essential because it’s unfair to frame a child’s perception of a parent based on a single bias view. One way that parents help kids cope is to bed the house rules because they feel guilty. It may be tempting, but you can be harming your child in the long run. It can contribute to learned behavior issues and attitude problems as they become older. If you seek additional advice from a Broomfield lawyer, they may suggest keeping day to day life as normal as possible. If a child sees changes after hearing the news, they may start to feel uncomfortable.

Lastly, counseling is another alternative to helping your child cope and in many ways, it can adults seeking counseling can help themselves cope too. Using the services of a family divorce lawyer in Westminster can provide a lot of help. They can point you to the best mediators and counselors that can provide aid designed especially for your situation. For anyone in mental health distress – adults or children – counseling is always a great way to relieve tension.

Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

Consistency is very important in a child’s life. If the family dynamic is strong, keeping that alive will make a child feel more content about the situation. Communicating with your spouse may be difficult to do during this time, but for a child’s sake, it is essential. Parents should meet regularly with their Broomfield lawyer for mediation purposes. Because your child needs both of you, it is important that both parents can cooperate together and show to your child that a divorce does not mean that things will get hostile.

Custody battle will affect a child’s mental health. Working with an Erie based child custody lawyer, they can give you advice on how to deter any negativity that may come from the divorce. They can help you do this by coaching you in maintaining a strong, loving relationship and help parents reach a common goal.

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