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How Angry Spouses Can Avoid the Courtroom

by Tanis McGonegal Family Law
Sep 3, 2020

It is usually pretty easy to tell the couples who have been married for five years from the ones who have only been dating for a year or two. This is because the couples that have been married for a while will likely be much more upfront with each other, which can be both a good and a bad thing.

It is good to have this upfront attitude because it allows someone to avoid having nearly as many situations where a lack of communication has caused a problem. However, it is very easy for this upfront attitude to transform into or be partnered with having less patience for their partner. In this case, a fight would be just as likely to occur, just for different reasons than a newer couple usually has to deal with.

But regardless of why a fight might happen, this is never a good moment for a couple and can put a lot of strain on their relationship. Depending on what the fight is about and how bad things get, it may even lead to them both needing a divorce lawyer in Westminster.

But if they can figure out ways to get these fights and the anger behind them under control early on, then it may let them avoid ever needing to look at hiring a divorce lawyer from Erie. Luckily, this article is here to help provide couples with tips on how they can use these tactics to reduce the chances of ever needing a child custody lawyer in Erie.

Take a Breath (or Ten) Before Saying Anything

As much of a cliche that it is to say that someone needs to think before they speak, it really is true. Some of the most unfortunate moments of a relationship tend to occur in the heat of the moment when someone was upset and didn’t think about what they were going to say before something terrible just blurted out. The less that this happens, the better off a relationship will be.

Unfortunately, there is no automatic filter that someone can put on their brain to help remove these moments from happening. Therefore, the best thing that they can do is to simply take a moment and really think about what they are going to say whenever they are feeling very upset.

Luckily, most people will be well aware of when they are approaching this moment, which means that they can hopefully focus on using this technique when they reach this point. Instead of saying anything in immediate response, they should focus on their breathing and count slowly before choosing to respond.

While the amount of time that they should wait before speaking is completely up to the person, it is generally recommended that they count to at least six to ten seconds in their mind before replying. This should be an adequate amount of time for them to really consider the ramifications of what they are about to say and decide whether or not it is worth the damage that it might cause.

Try to Physically Connect as Much as Possible

A lot of couples would be surprised to learn just how many of their fights were partially caused by issues that they were not even aware that they were reacting to. Quite often, these subconscious problems are within the physical department of the relationship.

When couples are not physically connecting with one another in the way that they should be, then it can cause enough of a disconnect between them that they eventually have a big fight over something that otherwise would have normally been a minor disagreement. That is why they need to do their best to help avoid this unnecessary escalation of fights by making sure to physically connect with one another as much as possible.

This doesn’t just mean sex either but applies to all forms of physical interaction. Therefore, moments like hugs, kisses, and even hand-holding should become a very frequent occurrence in a relationship in order to avoid having a problem of there being too much of a physical distance between each other. This should hopefully go a long way in helping to prevent them from reaching the point where they split up and each needs a lawyer in Broomfield to help them get through the often messy process.

Practice Active Listening

Quite often, when someone is involved in a verbal fight with their significant other, they are spending most of their mental energy thinking about what they are going to say next. What this can often do is cause them to only partially listen to what their partner is saying. But when someone is involved in a fight, partial listening is not going to be an effective way to get out of it.

Instead, the person needs to really listen to what their partner is saying so that they have a better chance of understanding where they are coming from. Only once they have this level of understanding will the individual be able to start the process of healing the relationship with empathy.

A good way to help ensure that the person is listening as much as they should be is for them to start practicing what is called active listening. This means that all of the mental energy is spent concentrating on what their partner is saying and then repeating the summary of it back to the person in order to make sure that they not only heard it but also understand what they are trying to say.

Once someone hears their partner repeat their own point back to them in a summarized fashion, it will help demonstrate the fact that the person is actually listening to what they are saying, which they are sure to appreciate.

Plus, it also increases the chances of the individual getting a different view on what they are saying since it is coming out of the other person’s mouth. So if they are being unreasonable about something, then this makes them much more likely to realize it as opposed to their significant other simply telling them that they are being unreasonable.

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