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How to avoid common mistakes when divorcing

by Tanis McGonegal Family Law
Oct 6, 2015

On behalf of Cooper & Tanis, P.C. posted in divorce on Tuesday, October 6, 2015.

Since the end of a marriage can be very emotional for Colorado couples, many people make mistakes when going through the divorce process if they let their emotions get the better of them. It is possible to avoid the errors that spouses typically make, and staying calm and being rational can help one avoid many common pitfalls.

One should stay calm, because divorces can quickly turn into mudslinging competitions as the parties normally know how to rile each other up. While fighting during the divorce proceedings might feel satisfying, it makes the process take longer, which just leads to more costs for both parties. One may need to practice controlling his or her emotions so that a settlement can be reached sooner. If one party keeps harassing the other, the latter can keep a log of the former’s behavior to present if a case goes to court in order to show the judge the party’s poor conduct.

Rationality is important because divorces require negotiation and compromise, and reaching an agreement will likely be difficult if one partner cannot be reasonable. It is important to consider what one wants most in a divorce instead of trying to fight over what one thinks the other wants most. One can be prepared by making a list of what needs to be negotiated and ranking it by importance to get a sense of what one can let go and stand firm on.

Choosing the wrong attorney is also a mistake many people make when going through a divorce, as the parties should each find an attorney who matches their style. If one spouse is considering mediation and thinks that the other could also be amenable to it, then it is important for each to choose an attorney who is familiar with this alternative dispute resolution method.

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