In a divorce where children are involved, the courts try to make decisions in the best interests of the child. However, there are situations in which the parents make things difficult for each other so they can get the upper hand in child custody. Some parents may go too far and engage in parental alienation.
Parental alienation occurs when one parent engages in behaviors that undermine the child’s relationship with the other parent. These behaviors often result in the child becoming estranged or even hostile toward the targeted parent.
Parental alienation is often seen as controversial, as it was determined to be a psychological syndrome in the 1980s. While many legal scholars and researchers argue there is little evidence that supports the concept of parental alienation, there are custody evaluators and forensic psychologists who specialize in these cases, and the judges rely on their testimony.
Do you think your ex-spouse is poisoning your child against you? If so, here’s a look at the signs and what you need to do.
Signs of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation can range from mild to severe, with the signs being subtle or overt. They often include the following:
- Negative comments. One parent may consistently make negative comments about the other parent in front of the child, belittling the other parent’s abilities or character.
- Interference with communication. The alienating parent may prevent the child from communicating or spending time with the other parent through tactics such as blocking phone calls or scheduling activities during the other parent’s visitation time.
- False allegations of abuse. The alienating parent may make unfounded accusations of abuse or neglect against the other parent, causing the child to fear or distrust them.
- Undermining visitation or custody arrangements. The alienating parent may repeatedly violate court-ordered visitation or custody arrangements, making it difficult for the other parent to maintain a relationship with the child.
- Encouraging loyalty conflicts. The alienating parent may pressure the child to choose sides or express loyalty exclusively to them, leading the child to feel torn between their parents.
- Emotional manipulation. The alienating parent may use guilt, bribery, or emotional manipulation to influence the child’s feelings and behaviors toward the targeted parent.
- Isolating the child. The alienating parent may restrict the child’s contact with extended family members and friends of the targeted parent, creating a sense of isolation.
- Refusal to cooperate. The alienating parent may refuse to cooperate or communicate with the other parent regarding co-parenting.
- Children refusing or resisting parenting time. Children may begin to attempt to refuse or resist engaging in parenting time with a parent. Sometimes this is normal age appropriate behavior or is a result of struggling with transitions, but sometimes this is a result of parenting alienating behaviors.
Dealing With Parental Alienation
If you are struggling with parental alienation in your child custody case, here are some things you can do:
- Maintain communication. Keep communication channels open with your child, even if they are being negatively influenced by the other parent. Let them know you love them and are always there for them, regardless of what the other parent may tell them about you.
- Document everything. Keep detailed records of all instances of alienating behavior, including dates, times, and specific incidents. This documentation may be helpful if you need to take legal action. Keep this documentation in one place either physically or electronically and document the events in real time as they are happening or on the same day, avoid making notes of what the children or others have stated to you in this record but document that elsewhere. The only statements that should be documented in this record are statements made by the allegedly alienating parent.
- Avoid negative behavior. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Refrain from exacerbating the situation, such as speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your child. Focus on promoting a healthy relationship with your child.
- Seek legal advice. Consult with a family law attorney who has experience in dealing with parental alienation cases. They can advise you on your rights and legal options, and even take your case to court, if necessary.
- Consider therapy. Therapy for both you and your child may be beneficial. A qualified therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate the challenges of parental alienation.
- Be persistent. Overcoming parental alienation can be a long and difficult process. Stay persistent in your efforts to maintain a positive relationship with your child, even though things can be slow and frustrating at times.
Contact Us Today
Dealing with possible parental alienation in a child custody case can be a frustrating matter. If you believe the other parent has turned your child against you, you will need proof.
These cases are complex. The child custody attorneys at Tanis McGonegal can help to restore your relationship with your child. If you are dealing with what you think might be parental alienation or other custody issues, our knowledgeable lawyers can help. To schedule a consultation, call (303) 465-4605 or fill out the online form.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-parental-alienation
