Divorce is a frustrating situation for all involved. For couples with children, ending the marriage can become a devastating family law issue. Hiring a mindful and experienced divorce attorney can help you from the very beginning to minimize the harm to your entire family. Children are often confused about what is happening, especially if they are young.
Young children do not understand why they suddenly have two homes and why their parents no longer live together. They may also worry that their parents may stop loving them. Elementary school aged children often believe they are the cause of the divorce. Teenagers may become angry about a divorce and the changes it causes. They tend to blame one parent.
The Impact of Divorce on Children
Divorce can take its toll on children in many ways but can be decreased and sometimes avoided by having good legal counsel. While each situation is different, there are some common impacts, including the following:
- Emotional distress. This is the biggest issue children experience. Children may experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, and anxiety. They may also feel a sense of loss, particularly if they have to adjust to changes in living arrangements.
- Behavioral problems. Some children may be angry about the divorce and act out by exhibiting behavioral issues such as aggression, defiance, or withdrawal. These behaviors can stem from feelings of insecurity or instability.
- Academic difficulties. School may become more difficult for some children. The distractions of a divorce can cause a child to struggle with concentration, attendance, or overall motivation. This can affect their grades and educational opportunities.
- Health issues. Stress related to parental divorce can cause physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and sleep disturbances.
- Self-esteem issues. Children may experience a blow to their self-esteem as they feel guilt or blame for the divorce. They may also struggle with feelings of rejection or abandonment, especially if one parent leaves the family home.
- Relationship challenges. Children of divorced parents may have difficulties with relationships. They may struggle with trust issues, fear of abandonment, or have challenges expressing their emotions.
- Parental conflict. Ongoing conflict between divorced parents can create a tense environment for children. Exposure to parental disagreements can exacerbate stress and emotional turmoil for children.
Talking to Children About Divorce
To minimize the effects of divorce on children, it is a good idea to start with a conversation about what is happening. Here is how to talk to your kids about divorce:
- Do not keep it a secret. Once you and your spouse make the decision, let your children know.
- Have a united front. Tell your child together with your spouse, if possible.
- Keep things simple and straightforward. Do not overshare. Children do not need to know every detail.
- Make sure your children understand that the divorce is not their fault.
- Reassure your child that you both still love them and will always be their parents.
- Be civil with each other in front of the child. Do not discuss faults or blame each other.
Other Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Children
Divorce will no doubt be upsetting for your child. Here are ways to make it less problematic:
- Co-parent peacefully. Avoid intense conflict, such as screaming and threats. This will make your child more stressed. Be civil to the other parent and try to be peaceful.
- Do not put kids in the middle. Do not ask kids to choose which parent they like best or use them as messengers. Kids caught in the middle are more likely to experience anxiety and depression.
- Maintain a healthy relationship with your child. Be positive when around your child. Avoid drama and conflict. Instead, focus on positive communication and low levels of conflict. Focus on building self-esteem and helping your children do well in school.
- Use consistent discipline. Both you and the other parent should use consistent discipline. This includes using age-appropriate rules and following through with consequences when necessary.
- Teach coping skills. Children with certain skills cope better with divorce. Teach them certain strategies, such as problem-solving skills and ways to manage feelings and behaviors in a healthy way.
- Help your child feel safe. Fear of abandonment is a common issue that can cause your child a lot of anxiety. You can reduce this issue by helping your child feel loved, safe, and secure.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170
